Flaming Hot Red Chili Peppers to Knock Your Socks Off

Don’t rub it in your eyes when cooking.
No seriously.
Don’t even get the back of the hand near your nose.
Don’t do it.
I mean it.

I warned you.
And especially never before having guests over.
Otherwise well you know..
Don’t apply mascara before chopping chili.
More mess to clean up.
Chopping board and face.
And 15 minutes behind schedule.
In reality a hour behind.

Capsaicin, the irritant, is not soluble in water.  So splashing your face with water doesn’t achieve anything except make you feel better only but momentarily.
Blink excessively.
Tears will flush the chili away.
So crying DOES help.

Do you need a permit to handle chili?
Say what?
Do you need a permit?
If you rub it in your eye yourself do you need a permit?
Well, isn’t that just homemade Mace/or pepper spray?
So if I were in Russia, it’s a “self defense device” so that would be fine, not so in Tasmania, Australia, an “offensive weapon” under the same category as carrying a knife. Whereas in New Zealand you would need to apply for a permit to carry it from the police. Complicated.

Now if you put chili in your socks well that would keep you warm in winter in Russia and avoid frostbite.  Circulation stimulation. Smart. Survival skills.  No permit required.  Vodka would be beneficial too, but not in the socks.

This post is based on fictional characters and no one was harmed in the writing of this post.  Chili was not applied anywhere.


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